I just got off the phone with a leading expert in the field of perpetual motion. With out further ado I'll post this interview:
007: Hello, Is this Ralph Lortie of Besslerwheel?
Mr. Lortie: If you mean do I post at Besslerwheel, yes.
007: Excellent Mr. Lortie. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions for a column I write on the subject of perpetual motion?
Mr. Lortie: Not at all.
007: Mr. Lortie, can you think of anyone off hand that rivals your ability in mechanics, physics and specifically in the field of PM?
Mr. Lortie: Well, aught seven, I'll be quite honest with you. There are a lot of people out there that have a little bit of an understanding but the brightest of them don't do much for me except to widen the running field.
007: I'm not sure I follow you. Could you expand on the idea of "widening the running field".
Mr. Lortie: I wouldn't expect you to understand so sure I'll explain. I like to look at discussion as a think tank experiment. Everyone has something to add to the discussion. Most everyone I've ever run into has old non-running ideas and there are a lot of stupid ones. Not often but at times someone has an idea that might not work as is but with improvements I have the skill to make, it just might. I can pick off the idea and run with it in a field they won't be able to follow.
007: I see. Do you charge for this service?
Mr. Lortie: Oh heck no. I do it for free!
007: Not long ago there was talk about "coming into the home stretch" with an actual runner. Do you plan on putting that model on a patent examiners desk any time soon?
Mr. Lortie: I'd like to talk about that one but since I've given my solemn word about the matter I just can't say.
007: I'd like to close the interview with a question about a design you've had in your deck of cards for a long time. Rumor has it the idea is certain to work and the only thing for you to do is to build it. Is that rumor true?
Mr. Lortie: That's a touchy area. Now if I was to just build that sure runner what would I live for? It would kill me if I did that. I have it safely tucked away for my heir apparent. If he wants to build it he can.
007: Don't you want to go down in the annuals of history as the greatest mechanic/physicist that ever lived and save humanity from the destruction of the planet and remove the yoke of fossil fuel dependency?
Mr. Lortie: I don't owe humanity anything. I've given the world enough just by being here.
007: Well Mr. Lortie, I appreciate you taking my call and for the interview.
Mr. Lortie: You're welcome. I have to say I have more respect for you than most people I've ever met.
007: Thank you Mr. Lortie. By the time I finish bending you over you'll have even more.
Disclaimer: Any resemblance of any characters in this interview with actual human beings is purely coincidental.
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